Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
