So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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