if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
