went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize