I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
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