I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
