I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
