Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
