Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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