So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
