OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
