She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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