stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
