just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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