Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
