sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize