i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
accomplished twins. life is a go
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
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