my mouth tastes like poor choices
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
