I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just pynch a tree in the face
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
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