He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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