He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
