people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
