So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
