Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
