I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
