think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
