Porn is love you can see.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
