THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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