Dual....:-)
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
