It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
