Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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