I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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