Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
