You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
