Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
