wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
