as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
