Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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