Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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