so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
