i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
