your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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