do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
