You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
