If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i came on her dog
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
