Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
