last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
