what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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