wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
there is glitter all over my balls
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