Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
