Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
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