We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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