i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
