Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize