to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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