just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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