Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
