Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
