yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
