I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just forgot I was standing up.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
