I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
