Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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