butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
