I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize