is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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