hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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