was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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